But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
