Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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