i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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