there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
