How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
