he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
