So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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