i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
