I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
