why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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