woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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