She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
