Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
