That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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