i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
