We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I look better un-naked...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
