We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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