absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize