You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
