You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
