so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize