that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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