somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
