One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize