Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
