Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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