i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
