the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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