Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
