Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize