I wanna bring you to show and tell
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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