kristin has been a bad kristin
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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