He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Houston, we have a blender
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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