last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
