She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize