I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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