): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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