She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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