somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
