things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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