I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it's like iHOP with fire
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
