I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
