May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
