You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
...so i touched it.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I AM VODKA MAN
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
