I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
