I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
