did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
