I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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