just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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