I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
