it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
