a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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