It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize