OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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