I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
