i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
