Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
