Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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