did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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