When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
