ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
