Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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