i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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