Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Sheβs the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize