you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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