Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
