he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
MIDGETS
????
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
