he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
